If the pieces don't fit
by xEspeciallyNow
Summary: People are like jigsaws, for the relationship to work they need to fit together but when they don't there's a gap and people notice the gap in the foundations of the relationship and do whatever they can to tear you both apart.
1. Chapter 1

_''If the pieces don't fit.''_

_Prologue:_

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You're walking fast, not quite sure where exactly you're supposed to be going as what just happened wasn't part of your plan. The tears in your eyes are stinging like it's some sort of acid but you're refusing to show everyone how hurt and upset you really are. You're doing what you do best, running away. When most people are told they can't be with the one they love they fight, but all you've ever had to do was fight for her, but now you have no fight left in you. People are like jigsaws, for the relationship to work they need to fit together but when they don't there's a gap and people notice the gap in the foundations of the relationship and do whatever they can to tear you both apart and when the pieces don't fit it's time to walk away. You begin to question if whatever the two of you had was worth all the arguments and the fights, they say you should fight for the person you love but what if the person you love is the one you're fighting with. You start to wonder where it all went wrong and if there were anything that could have been done to fix it, anything that you could have done, something that could keep you together. Despite all the arguments and the fights you loved her and nothing is going to change that. You used to think that you were soul mates and that you'd be together till death takes one of you away.

It's been a long walk home, you didn't want to end up here but your feet just took you there, down the familiar paths that twist and turn. Luckily everyone's asleep, so you creep upstairs trying to avoid the creaky floorboard, you're having a slight bit of trouble remembering which one it is but soon you won't have to worry about that. You start to cram as many clothes as possible in an overnight bag as well as a few toiletries and then tip-toe back downstairs to where you know your parents keep their spare money, you hope and pray that there's at least enough to get you a train ticket out of Lima, you don't care where you go, the cheapest and farthest destination. You quickly scribble down a note to your mum explaining exactly what happened and that you'll ring her in the morning, you doubt you will but at least it will give her a false sense of security. You slowly look around the room, the room where you spent so many of your childhood years, you have so many memories that it's hard to let go of but you know deep down that it's the best thing to do. You pick up your bag, take a deep breath and walk out of the door not once looking back.

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AN: And that's the prologue, I hope you like. Reviews would be appreciated.


	2. Chapter 2

_'I'm miles from where you are, I lay down on the cold ground''_

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_2 years later _

Even after all these months, she's all you can think about, her soft skin against yours, both lips slowly meeting in the middle and then parting. You try to shake off any memories that the two of you ever had but somehow she's always there. It's 9am, you didn't expect to be awake that early and you have one thing on your mind, alcohol. You go to the cupboard and find the unopened bottle of vodka that you bought last night. Eagerly unscrewing the lid, you put the bottle to your mouth and take a gulp; it burns for a couple of seconds as it slides down your throat. You carry on taking a couple more gulps before putting the lid back on and setting it back on the shelf. You're now ready for anything that the day throws at you.

You decide to phone in sick today, it's not they would miss you anyway, there's always another dancer that could fill in for you, instead you get ready to go to the local bar, they can't serve alcohol till 11am but that doesn't bother you by the time you walk there they'll be able to serve you. You slip on a short black dress, a pair of heels and quickly put on a bit of makeup before grabbing your bag and heading out of the door. You stumble around the streets of New York in search of a bar. You walk through the doors of the nearest one and are met by an overpowering smell of stale smoke and cheap cologne. You sit on one of the stools next to a man who you see every time you go in here but have never spoken to, he offers you a drink and you kindly decline but he insists so you order the most expensive shot that you can see on the list. He doesn't seem too fussed about the cost and continues to talk to you.

You spend the remainder of the day talking to him, he says he has some business to do and that he would be back shortly, but you doubt he would be, you've just spent the afternoon pouring your heart out to him about how much you miss Brittany. You look around for someone to talk to and as you do so you notice a tall blonde walking into the bar, you shout over to her, ''Brittany'' but she doesn't acknowledge you. Your heartbeat is unsteady and instead of it been of a normal speed it's skipping beats as she gets stands nearer and nearer to where you are. So you walk over and start talking to her, she has a confused look on her face and asks if she knows you, you watch her for a moment then shake your head before apologising and going back to the bar to order yourself another drink, you've already had too many but alcohol is the only thing that can stop the pain; without it you feel hopeless, your lungs are like sandpaper and each breath feels like it's your last, your tear ducts are going through a drought from all the crying and no matter how much you try no tears fall. Inside all you feel is numb and the only way to make you feel alive again is by drinking alcohol but even that's having less of an effect as it used to. You have a disappointed look upon your face, how could you be so stupid to think it was Brittany, she doesn't know where you live, your own parents don't even know, to them you just disappeared off the face of the earth, of course they're worried about you and they're constantly ringing you to see how you are but you don't answer. You don't have the heart to tell them how much of a fuck up their daughter is, how the only way to feel human again is to drink, how she works at a sleazy bar and serves whisky to concupiscent men who work away, their wives at home looking after their two children unbeknown to where they are. It's not the sort of lifestyle you would like to live but you're trapped.

You slam the glass down on the bar and demand another drink, you're not sure if they'll serve you and if they don't you know you're going to start an argument, they do as you asked and hand you another drink in exchange for a five dollar bill. You drink it one before ordering another one and to your surprise they serve you. Once again you drink it and put your glass down on the counter before heading to the toilets. You look in the mirror, everything looks blurry but from what you can see your makeup is still intact and you hair doesn't look as bad as you expected. You're gripping onto anything possible as without them you'd be in a heap on the cold hard floor. Your hands begin to get hot and you're slowly losing grip of everything that you're holding onto. You try to grip on tighter but as you do so you fall onto the floor. Unable to move you stay there. You don't know how long it has been but it feels like a lifetime, the room has been spinning for some time now and then everything goes black.

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_AN: I hope you like this chapter. I finally know where I'm going with this fanfic so I should be updating more frequently this next week but I can't promise anything. Also do you prefer shorter or longer chapters? _


	3. Chapter 3

''We're going back where we belong''

The one thing that scares you more than anything else is that one day she will forget about you, all of the moments that you once shared will all be erased but no matter what you'll never forget her. You wonder what she's doing now, who she's with if she has children, you doubt she would have had children but with Brittany anything is possible. You imagine her being engaged to a business man while she works as a dancer. They're happy together and live in a big house on the outskirts of Lima, somewhere where Brittany still has access to the dance studio and isn't too far away from her parents.

You snap out of your day dream as your cell phone starts to ring, you look at the screen and see the name ''dad'' on it, you're about to put it down again but something inside of you tells you to answer it and so you do.

''Santana'' he says, ''where are you? Why didn't you ring? You need to come home''

''I'm fine, I'm in New York, I just needed to start over, too many things happened in Lima. I don't think I'll be going back'' you explain.

''But it's your mom'' you can hear the pain in his voice as he says it, ''she's sick''

Your heart drops, you were never close with your mom but the thought of her being sick made you feel quite nauseas, she was hardly ever, she was always strong. You knew that she didn't just have a cold; your dad wouldn't want you home for that.

''I'm on my way'' you say and quickly not even hesitating, you grab a bag out from under your bed and stuff as many clothes in as possible before leaving the apartment for the airport.

Once you get there you walk up to the desk and ask for a ticket for one to Lima Ohio airport, she asks for your boarding pass, which you're a little embarrassed about as you believe that your picture is horrible but many people would disagree. The plane didn't leave for another two hours so you have some spare time on your hand. As you sit in one of the cafes with a cup of coffee you instantly regret deciding to go, the thought that you might see Brittany there makes you want to turn around and go back home. But your mom needs you and the thought that if you don't go you might not ever see her again which would kill you inside. You think about how if you see her will all those feelings that you once felt will they come rushing back, not that they left.

The next couple of hours quickly pass and before you know it you're back home in Lima. Everything still looks the same as the car drives downs the streets which you used to know so well. The car drives past Brittany's house, you're not sure if she lives there but it doesn't look like it's changed. You pray that Brittany will walk out of the door, but she doesn't. You try not to get your hopes but you fail, this has always been the case when it comes to Brittany. The car stops outside near your house, you pay the driver and then step out. Outside the house there are numerous cars, you're not quite sure who they belong to but you know that your family always hated having guests over and instead would rather you all went out to eat. You slowly walk up the garden path, you can hear the familiar voices and laughter of your family. You take a deep breath before knocking on the door. You're unsure whether or not you should have walked in, it's not like you live there anymore, you haven't done for the past two years. Your dad opens the door, ''Santana'' he says like he wasn't expecting you, he pulls you in for a hug and you breathe in his scent. He's smelt the same as he always has done since you can remember the same cologne which you used to love the smell of. He shows you into the living room like you're a visitor that has never been in the house. You awkwardly sit on the edge of the couch next to your mom's sister which you never really liked. There was always something about her but you could never pinpoint what it was.

''Nice of you to show up Santana'' she says in an irritating tone, you know she's trying to annoy you and you're not going to let her know that being in her presence is annoying you.

''Well I've been busy'' you reply

''For the past year?'' she asks trying to start an argument.

You ignore her not knowing what to say.

''Your mom has been poorly for over a year and you don't even ring to ask how she is''

You know it was wrong not to ring your mom and right now you're regretting it, you never knew she was ill.

''No one ever told me she was ill'' you reply hoping that it will silence her but she doesn't.

There's tension in the room and your family members keep disappearing into the kitchen to remove themselves from the argument that's about to start.

''That is no excuse…''

You don't give her chance to finish before you talk over her, ''I'm not perfect I make mistakes, not ringing my parents wasn't the right thing to do but you did the same thing last time my mom was poorly so stop acting like you're perfect because believe me you couldn't be any further away.''

''Can you please stop arguing'' your mom says as she walks into the room. She doesn't look the same since before you left; she looks a lot older and can now hardly walk without holding onto furniture.

Tears start to form in your eyes, you don't want to cry but all of the will you had has gone, the tears freely fall down your face. You quickly wipe them away but your mom catches you and sits next to you, she pulls you in for a hug and rubs your back while whispering in your ear that everything will be okay. You're overcome with emotion and the tears carry on falling quicker than before, she puts her finger to your cheek and wipes them away. You smile weakly.

You came here to be strong for your mom and as soon as you see her you burst into tears. You promise yourself that it will be the last time, your mom needs you more than ever and this time you won't be running away.


	4. Chapter 4

_''I don't want to go home right now''_

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You awake before the rest of your family; unsure what to do you decide to go to the local shops, it's early but not too early that they're not open. You quickly get changed and run your fingers through your hair before tying it together with a bobble. As you walk out of the door you grab your purse and then carry on down the path. The shop seems a lot further away than you remembered and you regret not taking the car. When in New York you have every shop possible on your doorstop so you needn't worry about running out of groceries and having to travel for miles, that's one of the things you miss about it, although you've only been gone a couple of days it feels like home.

You finally get to the shop and are greeted by a disgruntled security guard, he didn't look like he was too happy to see you and vice versa. As you enter the smell of fresh bread overwhelms you. You walk up the aisle putting things you doubt you need in your basket including biscuits which you'd call ''posh'' and would never eat if you weren't back home, a bouquet of flowers for your mom and a loaf of bread. When you had finished you stroll over to the checkout where an overly enthusiastic cashier. She was middle aged and had her golden hair tied up in a bun.

''Good morning'' she said, you say good morning back just to be polite. You carry on talking about nothing important before saying goodbye and leaving the shop to go home. You're stood next to the door adjusting your bags when you see a familiar face. You heart starts to race and it feels like all of the oxygen in the room has just disappeared, you want to run away but there's nowhere to go. She moves closer and closer towards the door, you look away and hope that she doesn't see you but it's too late, the door opens and there she is staring at you. You quickly walk out of the door not wanting to start a conversation with her, once you're out of the door you pause just to look at her. Her natural beauty takes your breath away.

''Santana'' she whispers just loud enough for you to hear as the automatic door closes.

She quickly turns around hoping that seeing you wasn't an illusion. Your eyes meet from through the glass. She still looks like the last time you saw her, a little older but still as beautiful. You need to leave but a part of you wants to stay, you know that the longer the look the more you'll miss her when she's gone but you can't move, it's like someone has glued your feet to the ground. The moment lasts for what feels like a lifetime, if this is what heaven feels like you love it and you don't want to go home right now. You're overcome with emotion and unsure what to do. So you do what you do best, run away. The tears start to form in your eyes and slowly roll down your cheeks, you gradually move your hand to wave goodbye and then turn to walk away.

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**Super short chapter I know and I'm really sorry but I had no idea what to write, I'll hopefully update soon but I'm unreliable so I won't promise anything. **


	5. Chapter 5

_''Take me home to my heart''_

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As the months pass your mom is getting weaker and weaker, deep down you know that she doesn't have much time left but you keep that to the back of your mind. You can't imagine not seeing her every day now. You've been in Lima for two months and it now finally feels like home, of course you miss the business of New York and you will definitely move back sometime but for now you're happy, well as happy as you can be. You haven't seen or spoken to Brittany since you met her in the supermarket and you have no intention of seeing her again, it's not that you don't want to, you do but you know that you're not worth all the pain that you will cause her; all the times you'll cheat because you've not once been faithful, the times when you come home from the club and you're drunk and high as a kite. You can't put her through all of that, anyone else and you wouldn't have to think twice, but Brittany has always been special and innocent that you couldn't do that to her. She was like a sister but you had didn't have sisterly feelings for her, you felt much more than that. You snap out of your thoughts and walk downstairs to where your family are patiently waiting for your mom to arrive home from the hospital visit with your dad. You've been preparing yourself for the worst but still having a little hope that it will be good news. Her hair has now fallen out from the chemotherapy but she still looks as beautiful as when you were younger. Your auntie is sat in the chair looking smug as you enter the room, you never really liked her and vice versa but you knew that now wasn't the right time to start an argument so you smile and look away.

It's ten minutes later when your mom walks through the door; everyone instantly looks in her direction. Her eyes are red and puffy and the hope you felt earlier has now disappeared. You remember the time when she first told you it was cancer, it was the day you arrived back at Lima, she sat you down on the sofa when everyone had gone home and told you the news, you cried yourself to sleep that night, and every night that week. You knew you couldn't have done anything to stop this from happening but you wished that you hadn't gone to New York and had instead stayed in Lima. But no matter how much you wished you couldn't turn back time.

''It's spread to my lungs and liver'' she said.

She carried on talking but everything she says sounds distorted and doesn't make sense, the room is spinning and you feel like you could vomit any second. Tears are rapidly falling down your face, you try to wipe them away and instead you let them fall freely while sitting there in silence.

You stand up to leave the room causing your Auntie to stare but you don't care,

''I just need to take a walk'' you announce,

''I'll go with you'' your dad offers.

You shake your head and walk out of the door closing it quietly behind you.

The sun is setting leaving the sky looking like it is on fire. You set off down the garden path and then at the end of the street you turn left and then walk past the local cemetery, it looks so peaceful at night. You've always liked cemeteries but were never able to pinpoint why, maybe it was the mysteriousness of them.

You walk down a familiar street and that's when you know where you're going, you want to turn around but your heart is saying one thing and your brain is telling you something else. You pause for a minute unsure what to do. You try to think what would be the best thing but you can't think straight from the constant argument between your heart and brain. You then think about the advice that your abuela used to give you before she died, ''always follow your heart'' and so you did, you did it when you came back to Lima and you're about to do it now. You carry on walking to you get to the door. You heart is pounding and you can hardly breathe, just the thought of seeing the person stood at the door as they open it is too much for you to handle.

You're finally at the door; you knock on it a couple of times before stepping off the doorstep. You hope that they're happy to see you and don't ignore you. Although you wouldn't blame them if you did, you haven't spoken to them since you arrived back. You can hear the unhooking of the chain off the door. You take a deep breath and close your eyes as the door opens and when you open them there she is stood. You look up and see the tears in her eyes and the shocked look upon her face.

''I didn't think I'd see you again'' she spoke softly.

You have no idea what to reply with, you didn't think you'd see her again either. She'd tried calling you after you had seen her at the store but you had ignored all the calls, texts and voicemails she had left you. She opens the door and shows you to the living room, not that you need showing as you spent most of your childhood at this house. You sit on the sofa opposite Brittany, there's a silence in the room that neither know how to break.

''Do you want a drink'' Brittany asks,

You nod and ask for a coffee as she stands up to leave the room. You get up off the sofa and look at all the pictures hung around the room, there's so many of Brittany in her cheerleading uniform and ones taken at Glee club when they won Nationals, then at the end of the room is a picture of you ad Brittany when you were little, you both had pots and pans on your heads while sat under a table pretending there was an earthquake. You had no idea how pots and pans would protect you but it seemed like a good idea at the time.

She walks back in the room with two cups and then hands you a pink one before sitting back down.

''Where's your mom and dad'' you ask to start a conversation.

''They've gone out'' she says and leaves it at that.

There's another silent moment and you begin to think why you came here. Of course you loved Brittany but that doesn't mean that you can expect her to welcome you with open arms after all of these years and then comfort you when you tell her the news of your mom.

''I need to go'' you say setting your cup down on the table before standing up. ''I came here expecting everything to be the same and I can't do it, I can't do this anymore. I'm sorry'' You walk out of the room and then out of the door, Brittany slowly behind. You can hear her sobbing at the door as you walk down the garden path. You knew you shouldn't have gone to her house, what right do you have just to come and go as you please.

''Santana'' she shouts your name with authority, you've never seen this side of Brittany before and it interests you. You slowly turn around to see what she has to say,

''please don't go'' she pleads tugging on your heartstrings. You think for a moment before running over to her with your arms open, tears rolling down your cheeks. She passionately kisses you while shutting the door. You need to pull away but you don't have enough will power. She presses you up against a wall while running her fingers through your knotted hair.

''I've missed you so much'' she says in between breaths.

You can't say you missed her too even though you did because you'd only break her heart when you had to leave. Maybe kissing Brittany wasn't the right thing to do as she could now think that the two of you are dating again when you know that it's never going to happen, all that you needed was someone to comfort you.

''I can't do this'' you say pulling away, ''I can't pretend that me going away and us not talking for over two years never happened. I'm no good, you don't know me anymore, I've changed, I'm not the same person I was the last time you saw me. I'm bad news, I'll only break your heart''

Brittany starts to cry, you want to go and comfort her but getting too close again won't be good for her or yourself.

''That's a risk I'm willing to take'' she says in between sobs.

She walks over to you and your lips crash against hers, your tongues doing a familiar dance which neither had felt for years. You put your hands on her and you can feel the warm glow of her cheeks. She places her hands around your waist and then lets them roam around your back. You can taste her fruity lip gloss which tantalizes you. She pulls away, takes your hand and leads you upstairs.

You know what you're doing is wrong but one night never hurt anyone, right?

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**I used grammar and spell check so I want to apologise in advance if there's any mistakes I'm sorry. **


	6. Chapter 6

_''Every time I try to fly I fall without my wings''_

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You turn around and see a sleeping Brittany laid next to you, her arms wrapped around your waist. You quickly but carefully untangle yourself from her and put on the clothes you were wearing last night. You then scribble a little note saying, ''sorry x' before leaving. You know you shouldn't have left but you couldn't stay any longer, the longer you would have stayed the harder it would have been to leave. It took all the will power you have to drag yourself out of the bed. You know your parents will be wondering where you spent the night and you wouldn't at all be surprised if they sent out a search party last night, luckily Brittany's is the last place they would look. You managed to fill her in with what happened between you and Brittany once you arrived back at Lima, of course you didn't give her the full story or in much detail, instead just the bits that she needed to know. You enter the local shop as you walk past and buy a bottle of vodka, it's only 8am and you're already having the worst day. You unscrew the lid and take a big gulp before putting it back in your bag for later on.

As you enter the house your family are all still in bed, they're probably used to you not returning home. You take the bottle out of the bag, unscrew the lid and put it to your mouth. You're not particularly fond of the taste but it helps to numb the pain so you're willing to suffer for a while. Your dad walks down the stairs as you're about to put the lid on the half of bottle of vodka that you now have left.

''You're starting early'' he jokes, ''rough morning?''

You nod as he comfortingly puts his arm around you.

''Where were you last night?'' he asks.

You pause for a minute not knowing what to say, '' at a friends'' you say, you're not lying but not really telling the truth either, you and Brittany used to be friends and now you seemed to be complicated mess, like a delicate necklace that has hundreds of knots in that can never be untangled.

''Would that friend be Brittany?'' he replies.

You confidently shake your head to try and throw him off track, but he knew you too well, ''it wasn't it? Santana Lopez I can read you like a book''

''Fine it was Brittany'' you say reluctantly, ''but don't tell mom, you know how she feels about it''

''Are you two back together'' he asks enthusiastically, your dad had always said that you were at your happiest when you were with Brittany and whatever made you happy made him happy.

''No'' you say hoping that he would change the conversation.

''Just give it time'' he says ruffling your hair before walking into the kitchen.

You liked your dad more than your mom, that you'd ever admit it if anyone asked, it was his laid back attitude and his sense of humor. When you were younger you were close to your mom, she was a polar opposite to your dad and instead had a very dry sense of humor and was often uptight. When you started to become a teenager the constant arguments between the two of you wrecked your relationship. She was always someone you could to go when you needed advice about anything other than your and Brittany's relationship. It's not that she didn't accept it because she did it's just that she'd rather not be constantly reminded that her daughter was in fact a lesbian and had feelings for the same sex. She found it uncomfortable when you spoke about how an amazing girl friend Brittany was so you quickly learnt to keep that to yourself.

Your dad entered the room with two cups of coffee and both of you were both soon joined by your mom. The conversation wasn't flowing and mainly involved where you were last night and of course you lied to your mom. You didn't like lying to her but we all have to do things we don't like someday and well today was one of those days.

You didn't really have any plans for the rest of the day so you moped around the house all day. Brittany had left you numerous voicemails and texts which you had once again ignored. You then begin to think that last night might not have been the best idea. She could now think that you're dating when you aren't and you never will do again, ever. It's like she had you under some sort of spell that you couldn't break free from.

It was the 10th time that Brittany had called you when you decided to answer it.

''Hey'' she says in a casual tone like the past two years hadn't happened. The way that she spoke made your heart melt and all the anger you had had been disintegrated.

''Hi'' you reply.

''last night was… uhm… good'' she says awkwardly.

''hmm'' you agree.

''So, do you want to meet up in like ten minutes?'' she asks, your mind is saying no but your heart is saying yes and she's using that sweet, innocent tone that you can't say no to.

''I'll meet you at the park'' you say before putting the phone down.

And that's when you realised you were back at square one.


	7. Chapter 7

_''For you I've waited all these years''_

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You hadn't been waiting long when Brittany arrived at the park. You were nervous and had a fluttery feeling in your stomach. If she hadn't had arrived when she did you couldn't have promise that you'd have stayed much longer. The nerves were taking over and making you feel quite nauseas. You couldn't quite pinpoint why you had nerves, was it because you were meeting Brittany and the fluttery feeling were butterflies or was it nerves because you knew you were going to break her heart again. It's not that you intended for all this to happen, in fact you couldn't have been any further away than what you expected to happen. She was wearing a short red summer dress and a pair of sandals. She curled her hair especially for the occasion and you're feeling a little under dressed wearing your jeans and a t-shirt.

She takes a seat next to you on the bench, she has an unsure look upon her face like she is questioning whether sitting there was a good idea. She looks breathtakingly beautiful which makes what you're about to say even harder. You've rehearsed it in your head over and over again word for word. You begin to talk and at the same time she does, "you first" you say hoping that what she is going to say won't stop you from saying yours. She takes a deep breath and then begins. ''When you first went away, I was lost'' this was a side of Brittany you had never seen before, it was different and very out of character. As she carries on describing how she felt you begin to feel guilty, when running away all you did was thinking of how much better Brittany would have been without you, you didn't think about how she'd feel at the time. ''I never want to feel like that again. I didn't think I was ever going to see you again.'' You can feel the wave of guilt overcome you as tears slowly roll down your cheeks. ''I don't want to lose you this time, I can't'' You're not quite sure what you're going to say after she's finished, even all the rehearsing you couldn't have expected her to say this. You'd rehearsed many different scenarios and this one hadn't been practiced. Brittany never seemed to let her walls down much, she never told anyone how she was feeling or how she felt about them. ''I love you so much.'' She slowly presses her lips against yours, you close your eyes as does she and try to think of anything apart from what you're about to say. She pulls away and then carries on talking. ''I know this might be a bit too soon and I don't want you to panic'' this part of the conversation seemed to confuse you. You never really did panic; you never had a reason to. She puts her hand in her pocket and then presents you with a little black box. You open it up. No one had ever given you something quite like this before. ''It's not an engagement ring but a promise ring, so you'll promise that you won't leave me again.'' The ring was beautiful; it was silver and had a band of diamonds across it helping to form a heart. You're unsure what to do. Part of you wanted to never leave Brittany's side and the other wanted you to run as further away as possible. Once again your head and heart were at war. Which one would win? You didn't know but either way it would result in someone getting hurt.

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**Kinda short chapter I know but I was running out of inspiration, although I do have inspiration for the next chapter so it should be better. Also there's only like another 6 or 7 chapters left in this fanfic but I already have a sequel planned so if you don't get the ending you were hoping for (I have two possible endings and I'm quite indecisive when it comes to them) there will be another fanfic which will kind of continue from this one. **

**I'd love to hear what you think is going to happen in the next chapter and who knows if one of your ideas is better than mine I may just switch!**


	8. Chapter 8

_''Questions of science, science and progress''_

* * *

The early morning sun shines brightly through your bedroom window as you find yourself waking up. The ring that Brittany gave you yesterday is still on your finger. She seemed quite shocked with your reaction and even you knew that you hadn't reacted the way you had expected. You take the ring off and place it back in the box before hiding it in your bedside drawer. You walk out of the room to go downstairs and as you do so you hear your mom weakly calling your name. She had been getting worse the past week and after been ill with a chest infection for the past couple of days she had spent all the time in bed unable to move. She had insisted that your dad went to work and he unwillingly did so, she didn't want someone to do everything for her and needed her independence. You open the bedroom door and carefully sit on the edge of the bed trying not to hurt her.

''Did you and Brittany sort everything out?'' she asked like the pair of you were still teenagers.

You nod and then begin to fiddle with your hands as the conversation makes you feel uncomfortable.

''She makes you happy doesn't she?'' you can tell by the way they she is speaking to you that it isn't easy for her.

''Yes'' you whisper not giving her eye contact.

''Tell her how you feel before it's too late''

Your mom had never been happy with yours and Brittany's on and off relationship and now she has giving you a speech about how she accepts it.

''There's one person out there for everyone; I don't want you to let yours go, you lost her once because of me and I don't want it to happen again. ''

You're very confused at what your mom is telling you and where this came from; since you've arrived back she hasn't brought up Brittany as she had always tried to keep it at the back of her mind.

''I lost my soulmate many years ago before I met your father. His parents did agree with us dating as his family were American and I were part Spanish, so they did everything they could to break us up, they told him that if we didn't break up that they would disown him for dating a non-white girl. So he broke up with me, I was distraught. Whenever I'd go out I'd see someone who looked exactly like him and the longer I looked the sooner I realised that I wasn't going to see him again. So I started dating again, dated your dad, we got married and then along came you.''

You had always thought that your mom and dad were soulmates and now your mom was telling you of this other man in her life and it was a little too much for you to take in all at once.

''I'm not saying I don't love your dad because I do, you and him are my world and I wouldn't change him for anyone else but I don't feel the same way about him as I did Michael.''

You start to think about all the people you have dated; Puck, Sam, Karofsky, you had never loved any of them, you didn't feel anything for them, if you didn't see them for a day you didn't feel this sense of longing to be with them again, you feel all that for Brittany.

''So the point of this story wasn't to scare you into thinking that I'm going to leave your dad because that's never going to happen. The point was to make you see what you and Brittany have, how you belong together''

You're beginning to think that maybe your mom is right and that you were made for each other but then when you think back to the years you spent in New York, all the drunken nights you came home, the nights you spent sleeping on the streets because you were too stoned to remember where you lived, did you really want to let Brittany see that side of you?

''Me and Brittany aren't soulmates, I don't feel that way about her'' you lied.

Your mom could tell by the way that you said it that you were in denial but didn't have the strength to fight with you.

''Well if that's how you really feel'' she said tiredly.

''I'll leave you to get some rest'' the conversation she had just had with you had obviously tired her out no matter how early in the morning it was.

You climbed off the bed and quietly closed the door behind you. You slide down it and end up in a heap on the floor, your face in your hands. You'd fucked it up again, that was your one chance where you could tell your mom how you really felt and you let it go. Right now all you wanted to do was go back to New York, you missed everything about it, the diversity, the sound of traffic at 5am, Lily, the homeless woman who lived on the steps of your apartment block. You missed the freedom to do whatever you wanted without anyone judging you because no one knew you or because everyone there was different and everyone accepted each other, it didn't matter if you were gay, straight, lesbian or transgendered, everyone accepted you for who you were, there's not one person who's the exact same as you in the city, yet you all want the same thing, to be accepted. You can get married to the person you love as gay marriage is legalised but in Ohio it's not. But when you started dating Brittany it changed your mind. Marriage is a way of showing the world that you love her and that you want to grow old together.

Your life in New York was good, you were free to do whatever you wanted whenever you wanted. You weren't tied, if you wanted to start drinking at 9am you could, there were no one to stop you. Work was very lenient with time off as there were always other waitresses that could take your shift. Life was one big party. But when you were there something always seemed missing, Brittany. You often thought about her and life without her wasn't life. You'd started to make friends once you went to the local clubs and pubs, and then when you smoked your first lot of weed you made even more friends. It was then when you properly felt accepted in New York, where people loved you for who you are and not who you used to be. You'd meet up with your friends after working a couple of hours at the club, you'd hang out in your apartment, everyone would bring a drink and some snacks and then you'd share them while telling stories. You'd open the windows once everyone started smoking and that's when the party really began. You'd turn the music up and invite everyone in your phone book apart from those in Lima of course. But then you moved onto the cold hard drugs, at least twice a week snorting cocaine, you and your friends slowly drifted apart and you made new ones, you'd go over to a shack in the middle of nowhere, no idea how you even they even found it, there's not many places that are in the middle of nowhere in New York City but this was one of them. You'd sit around a makeshift fire and then in turn you'd take it in turns to snort a line before leaving to go home, you often didn't make it, the cocaine was too strong and your body couldn't handle it. You'd have terrible side effects; dizziness, nauseas and fainting spells just to name a few.

Since coming back to Lima you'd realised that you had more important things than drugs. You had family; friends and people cared for you more than you had ever anticipated. You'd been having withdrawal symptoms but you weren't giving in, you were a fighter and would beat this even if it killed you.

* * *

**I changed my pen-name! Anyway I felt super inspired to start and finish this chapter. Not sure when I'll next update but hopefully sometime next week! Also I forgot to mention that the website has been messing up my word count, it said that the last chapter was 400+ when really it was nearer 800 so if you do read them please ignore it as it is more than likely wrong!**


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